She was about to leave when she opened her laptop, opened her email and gave it to Don. “This is for you to read, so you won’t be bored while I am gone” she said, kissed him on the cheek and added: “Don’t wait up, I might be coming back home late and won’t be interested in talking”.
She then closed the door as Don returned to his seat and clicked on the top email in her laptop, reading it with his full attention.
“Hey Lisa, this is Jackson. I just wanted to let you know that there will the usual She was about to leave when she opened her laptop, opened her email and gave it to Don. “This is for you to read, so you won’t be bored while I am gone” she said, kissed him on the cheek and added: “Don’t wait up, I might be coming back home late and won’t be interested in talking”.
She then closed the door as Don returned to his seat and clicked on the top email in her laptop, reading it with his full attention.
“Hey Lisa, this is Jackson. I just wanted to let you know that there will the usual 25-30 of us tonight and the two guys who used to bring their wives have cancelled it the last minute and won’t be coming. So we will be having all of our attention only on you tonight. I know you are more than happy with this arrangement. Just thought it would be nice letting you know beforehand.
He scrolled the page down and read her response:
“Hey Jackson, well, you know me, I love it! I am actually happy they are not coming this time, I secretly wanted to be the only woman at that party for quite long, I was just a little shy to say that. Please tell everyone that it is going to be a “no condom” night. I am going to be barebacked for everyone tonight”.
To what the response was:
“LOL, we are happy that you are happy. And don’t worry about that even for a second, it will be done. Everyone already knows that they are supposed to leave their condoms at home as I know what you like ;)”.
And that was the moment when Don heard her car move out of the driveway…
25-30 of us tonight and the two guys who used to bring their wives have cancelled it the last minute and won’t be coming. So we will be having all of our attention only on you tonight. I know you are more than happy with this arrangement. Just thought it would be nice letting you know beforehand.
He scrolled the page down and read her response:
“Hey Jackson, well, you know me, I love it! I am actually happy they are not coming this time, I secretly wanted to be the only woman at that party for quite long, I was just a little shy to say that. Please tell everyone that it is going to be a “no condom” night. I am going to be barebacked for everyone tonight”.
To what the response was:
“LOL, we are happy that you are happy. And don’t worry about that even for a second, it will be done. Everyone already knows that they are supposed to leave their condoms at home as I know what you like ;)”.
And that was the moment when Don heard her car move out of the driveway…

I’ve come to the conclusion that my husband’s sexual kink is not actually about me sleeping with other men. I’m just the means to that end and a pawn to control in order to get what he craves. I KNOW that he does not crave me, personally, and does not get aroused by just being with me. He believes he should and tries valiantly! Every Saturday morning he takes a Viagra and then lays on his back while I do a few gyrations that usually end in mutual masturbation. And that’s it for a week. Pretty dull for both of us.

Now we both know that if I allude to being unfaithful, say I agree to text that guy I slept with one time, or talk about big cocks I have had or even better, will go get, his arousal deepens and his orgasms are much more intense and reflect genuine desire. So I, wanting to experience his desire and disappointed that I alone don’t arouse it in him, trade my dignity to bring this out of him. I pretend I have this power, when actually I’m agreeing to being used and controlled.

When I probe more, flirt outside of Saturday morning obligatory sex, say, encourage him to butt plug me for a day (I get no response) but if I say I want his cock locked in its cage, he responds with, “interested, but you know I will want more.”

So now I will name this ‘more’, and again, it’s not about me having sex with other men and then going home to tell him about it. His kink is being ‘forced’ to be the secondary male, the one left out, humiliated and scorned. ‘Forced’ to watch his wife get ravished and ‘forced’ to call the man ‘sir’ and even ordered to suck his cock and THANK him for doing to her (not for her!) what he cannot or will not.

This is what it is. This is the scenario we revolve around. My husband would like to believe he is ‘submissive’ when in fact, he is very specific and very manipulative and very controlling in this sexual roller coaster.

He serves me up bland, boring limp noodle sex, has no real passion or arousal for just me, (and knows I will eventually get frustrated) yet is a very kind, loving, supportive PROVIDER in every sense of the word, except sexual. He withholds that part, unconsciously I’m sure, but it is very clear to me. And he would vehemently deny this if the topic were broached and bellow about stress at work, how hard he tries, gives all he’s got…etc. I know this, because I can clearly see him. I have defined and named this mess.

And yet, what about me? What about what I want sexually? He has never asked and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to know, unless it fits in with his kinky desire for us (key word, us) to be ‘owned’ by a dominate male.

I’ve pretended, and sometimes convinced myself that fucking other men is a good solution, and I even went so far as to do that once. I wanted then what I want now: to be desired and to produce an arousal for just being me.

But that didn’t fit into Cuckyboy’s Master Plan! It was not enough for me to get what I’ve been missing and been deprived of! It was not enough until we had his cock locked and shaved, panties on him and a real live alpha male barking orders at him via email and text messages!

Then, when the liaison was all lined up and we 3 were going to meet: sex for me and humiliation for the ‘submissive’ one, he tricked me! He meekly asked if I could let his cock out just for overnight, since it was so swollen from being excited for hours. I agreed, then let him masturbate and come.

That one orgasm changed him from simpering pantied eager-to-please cock-sucking cuckold, to a belligerent, loudmouthed, arrogant, selfish and downright rude individual I almost didn’t recognise as the man I married! (The cuckold in panties was not the man I married, either, but at least I had his desire, attention and the promise of getting fucked properly! And the illusion that I was in control! Ha!)

Weird shit, and a bit scary, I might add. So I shut down the whole operation and we went back to bland, mutual masturbation.

Deep down I resent this, because I feel frustrated, used and manipulated at every angle. I can’t fucking win! He doesn’t ask what I want not because he doesn’t care, it’s because he DOES know, on a level he won’t/can’t access. If he acknowledges what healthy sex is, he would have to change and that is just not what he wants at all. I get this.

I’ve named it, now I must ACCEPT it and hand it over to a higher power because I’m not sure WHAT I have the courage to change and so my WISDOM falters when I am lonely, frustrated and feel cornered. It’s like a nightmare chess game, where I am constantly either in check or checkmate.

The suddenly she pulled her hand away, as if touching his wiener was the last thing she wanted to do. “I am sure that if it was at least half inch longer, I would beg you to penetrate me from time to time if I was too horny. But I don’t think that any woman with self respect would be stuffing a half penis into her pussy.” Don could not say a thing as he was shaking his head, agreeing with what she was saying. “Yes, I understand you, my love. You are just too good and deserve a lot more than what I can bring in for you” he mumbled.
“Ok, then, I need my wrap now” she said in response. He did not hesitate for a while and rushed himself to the closet as he returned with a sheer black wrap that she used to wear for the parties she was about to leave to. It was entirely see through. When you looked at her from far, it looked like she was wearing a light dress, but as you get closer; it was obvious that there was almost nothing on her nude body wearing only underwear. Don helped her to wear it as he slid it through her amazing body and helped her to tie it.
It was finally the time to get her feet ready. Don was extremely attentive and therefore took great care in making sure she wore only perfect gear. He slipped 24KT gold rings on each of her middle toes and then a gold anklet on her left ankle and matched it with
the same one on her right ankle. Eventually, she was wearing a pair leather open toe pumps from Louis Vuitton. She was perfect: any man would love to sleep with her. She then had her hand kissed as he took her wedding ring off her finger and put it in his pocket. Lisa was always bragging about that she was married, even though she did not wear her ring, telling people that her husband was just patiently waiting for her at home. She did not care how embarrassing it would be for him that she was sleeping around and telling people that her husband is fully aware of the happenings.