From Insecure to Evil

Having finished my daily housework a bit early, I jumped on the computer to surf the internet. I had only typed the first letter of a website I wanted to visit when the browser suggest a website that caught my attention. I thought for a moment before curiosity got the best of me; I clicked. When the site open, my jaw literally dropped open. In front of me was this slideshow of hot guys being spanked, teased and forced to perform all kinds of emasculating activities for the entertainment and fun of women who looked like their wives or girlfriend instead of a professional Dominatrix. There were some tabs across the top of the website leading to sections that focused on things like spanking, denial, ruined orgasms, forced cum eating, pegging and cuckolding. It suddenly occurred to me that Eric must have visited this website, and that’s how it ended up in the web browser. In a state of shock, I clicked on the browser history and found at least 10 more sites of a similar nature, all visited recently. I’m not a prude, and Eric and I have watched plenty of porn on the internet. But this stuff went in a vastly different direction than anything we’d watched together. In confusion, I stared at the screen, trying to process what I was seeing. I actually felt quite alone, as if I just learned that Eric was cheating on me. This felt like such a big, dark secret, such a violation of trust. The more I thought about it, the more I started to blame myself, like I usually do. Obviously, I wasn’t fulfilling his needs anymore, so he was looking for places with women who did. But how could I know I wasn’t doing right if he never told me?
The next couple of weeks, I watched the computer closely. I reviewed the internet history almost daily, and I learned that Eric visited that first website and many others like it on a regular basis. I knew I should put a stop to all the secrecy, but I didn’t know how. Where do you begin when you’re dealing with something like this, and how? As days passed, it became clearer to me that I was no longer the type of woman who pleased or excited my husband. All my adult life I’ve been insecure, and that insecurity kept me from sharing my deepest fantasies with my husband, fantasies that involved me being completely submissive to a dominant man. And now, I was dealing with the reverse from my husband. Realizing the only thing I could do now was educate myself — learn more about why men fantasized about the very things I, myself, did — I turned to the biggest source of information available: the website right in front of me. I spent the entire day reading articles and stories about dominate women, looking at various blogs and even joining some chat rooms. After that day, I spent all my free time reading everything I could get my hands on to learn more. I even went so far as to have a few online conversations with other women who had at one time been in my shoes.
What I learned was that while there were indeed real-life marriages that involved slut wives having unprotected sex with strangers then going home to spill that spent cum on their husband’s faces, there were not many; however, the ones that did exist were vocal and had an online presence. Some women claimed sexual monogamy with their husbands, while others freely admitted that they had sex with other guys and would do so again. The one constant I saw that completely baffled me was that no matter how engrossed in the lifestyle these women were or how often they “played”, they insisted that their husbands had full knowledge of the activities and either accepted it, or in some cases, even approved of it.
Of the women I met, Mary was the I grew the closest to. From our first chat, I felt like I could relate to her because she was the most like me. She was also a woman who had been shy and insecure, and she had learned about her husband’s secret fetish in the same way I had. Mary was honest with me, echoing fantasies that matched mine but were the complete opposite of what her husband was quietly seeking. The second time we spoke, she went into more detail about her relationship with her husband. She admitted that her domination of her husband, Tom, made is possible for her to get out of the house every once in a while and take trips to spend time with her ex, Nathan; all of this, of course, with Tom’s explicit approval. She told me the reason she divorced Nathan was because of the way he treated her, like a whore to be used instead of a wife who should be loved and cherished. We shared a good laugh at the irony of the situation, how now they all got to indulge in their fantasies whenever she went away on a weekend jaunt. The details she shared about her wild weekends with Nathan left me aroused, and strangely, envious of her circumstances.
She’d met Tom soon after leaving Nathan, and the two were married within a year. Tom was always a loving, caring man, and she insisted nothing had changed. As a matter of fact, the new relationship actually enhanced their marriage and made her want Tom as a husband even more. By her own admission, Tom would always be the husband of her dreams, but no one could compare to the wild way she was fucked by Nathan.
Mary was extremely familiar with the website I had first clicked on weeks prior. She was generous with her time, giving me plenty of detailed instructions regarding the various things she’d done to Tom based off the site. Because Mary was so similar to me, the fact that she was able to do these things to her husband made things seem more real for me, more possible as it was. Mary told me about how Tom brought her to orgasm daily by licking her and how she verbally and physically teased him to keep him in a constant state of arousal. She detailed how Tom would do anything — anything she asked for — when he was horny and how she used this power to dominate him. It was important to her that I understand that all of this play, all of Tom’s willingness to be teased, spanked and humiliated stopped the moment he ejaculated. When he came, the spanking would stop, though they usually did continue on with things like the forced cum eating. She made it clear that she’d never slept with Nathan while Tom was around and she had never come back from a trip to Nathan’s covered in his fluids. Before she left for a lurid weekend, she would tease Tom for a day or two about all the dirty things Nathan would be doing to her — all while not allowing Tom to cum — and when she came home, she spilled every nasty detail of what the two of them had done. It was the act of leaving Tom desperate for release while Mary fulfilled her needs with Nathan that served as the reminder that Tom was her cuckold, while Mary got to experience the brief thrill of being Nathan’s toy without complications.
In addition to the many hours I spent conducting research, I spent just as many reflecting on what I’d learned. Paragraphs and articles, conversations with Mary, endless videos — they are filtered through my mind and started to make sense. I began to understand Eric’s needs and fantasies, and I began to re-evaluate and re-discover my own; I realized I could make his come true, as well as mine, while also becoming the one woman my husband desired more so than any other. As scary-exciting as this was, I also thought about what I might turn into. Was I cut out for this, or would I turn into some kind of fake, cookie-cutter Dom and lose my sense of self? I felt a very real fear that my entire plan would implode before I was even able to put it into motion.
I logged online that day, and I felt a sense of relief pass over me as I saw that Mary was also online. I poured my heart out to her in a series of sentences and paragraphs that seemed to have no end. I explained my concerns about getting in too deep, hating the lifestyle and being unable to get out. What if I hated bossing him around? What if I didn’t even have it in me to tell him what to do, to act like a bitch, to hit him and tease him and humiliate him for pleasure?
Mary — the doll that she was — let me type until my fingers were sore. She didn’t interrupt, didn’t try to stop my mind from unraveling and careening. When I was finally done, and I sat there, staring at the computer screen as if awaiting a death sentence or pardon. When her response came, it shocked and relieved me at the same time:

“I felt exactly the same way in the beginning.”
Now it was my turn to sit and listen, reading about Mary’s initial concerns and how she had changed over time, had grown to love everything she was doing with Tom. She talked about how her self-confidence had grown and how her feelings had evolved. Hearing about the evolution of her feelings, how at the beginning, there were desires and activities Tom liked that she didn’t, but as she explored them with her husband, she found herself enjoying them immensely. The things that Tom admitted to her, the things that were emasculating and embarrassing, he was able to do because she was the woman he loved. She learned that it wasn’t necessarily the pain that came from a spanking or the flush of cheeks that came from licking spilt cum that excited and aroused her husband, but rather the fact that he was being forced to perform these things by his wife, a woman who he loved and who was holding power over him. She assured me that she and her husband talked at length about what they were doing, and that understanding came from those talks; she was certain that if I were to talk to Eric, I’d have similar results.
My foremost concern was that no matter what, I would not find doing these things to Eric erotic in the least and that he would be able to see through any act I put up. I was hoping Mary could give me an out, but she didn’t. The saying “don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it” came to mind; rather than assume the worst and think I might not enjoy these bedroom activities, I needed to go into this new arrangement with an open mind. I needed to let the excitement of things new and strange overtake me, and I needed to explore the new roads before us alongside my husband. If I didn’t show as much enthusiasm, if I didn’t try, Eric would never find satisfaction. Mary told me that if I wasn’t willing to truly embrace this new journey, to take my place as the woman who my husband fantasized about, that I should just stop before I got started. It was sort of the out I had been hoping for, yet when I signed off for the night, I spend the evening lost in my thoughts, feeling dejected and in no way feeling as if I’d found the magic answer I so desperately hoped existed.
A week later, I told Mary I was ready to go into this thing 100%: I was ready to do whatever it would take to try to fulfill my husband’s fantasies, while also exploring my own. She passed along a link to yet another fetish website, this one complete with detailed videos that would give me a first-hand glimpse into what would become my new life. She told me to use the videos to help clear up any residual doubt that might still be lingering. I clicked on a video, and like that night that seemed so long ago and many nights after, watched with a bit of shock as men moaned, whimpered and pleaded as they submitted to the various depraved acts being requested or demanded by their cruel wives. Once I’d watch a bit, I got over my initial discomfort like like usual. This time, though, something else happened: I found myself becoming fascinated by the strength and power of the women I was watching as their men gave them wonderful, toe-curling orgasm while they were left hanging themselves. Watching these ladies stand over their husbands, confidence oozing from their pores as they spanked these men, whipped them and teased them, it was suddenly breathtakingly erotic. I thought about how much my husband loved taking my ass, and then I was thinking about donning a strap-on and taking his. What would he think about that? The men on the screen were certainly enjoying it, and even though I was apprehensive of actually penetrating my husband’s ass, I was beginning to enjoy the mere thought of it. Of all the videos, it was always the cuckolding videos that baffled me the most. I had spent many hours deliberating about whether Eric would really have any desire to see me used by another man or wait at home, pacing and wondering what I was doing while out on a date, much less have to bare witness to cum leaking from my pussy or even having to lick it up. Whenever my line of thinking went down that route, I thought of Mary and her Tom, and how putting him in his place as her cuckold allowed them both to explore their deepest wishes. Never before had I truly acted on any of my own secret fantasies, but watching these women try out theirs, shoving their husbands’ faces in their used cunts after a fuck, had me throbbing down below. I wasn’t naïve enough to consider myself convinced that everything I’d do to Eric would be a turn-on for me, but I did know that the thought of seeing him submit, melt under my control like the poor saps on the computer screen — that definitely would arouse some feelings in me, just as it would in him. When I told Mary about it, she was truly happy for me. Her only advice was to put on a brave, confident front — keep from my husband any conflicts I might still be battling, for those concerns would shatter the world he was trying to submerse himself into.

4 thoughts on “From Insecure to Evil

  1. Good day! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be ok. I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

  2. You go girl! Longing to hear the rest. just like your hubby will be longing for you to return from your dates. Thank god for wives that are strong enfto put us in are place. Go ahead and have your cake and eat it 2!

  3. This sounds so much like what is happening in my world. Only now that I have actually given him the fantasy he begged for, my poor husband becomes very rebellious after he cums and has been known to ruin the next session with my bull. But he ALWAYS begs me to fuck other men. It’s a vicious cycle. Get a chastity device and don’t let him cum! No matter how much he whines and asks for pity.

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